Let's talk about objectification first. I am a bisexual woman. I find both men and women attractive, and what's more I think it is entirely possible to see someone as attractive and even admire that person's attractiveness without treating them like an object. I'll use an example:
Catwoman, the Dark Knight Rises
Catwoman is very attractive in that, er, catsuit. She is also an interesting character with a story all of her own. When I see her as attractive, am I reducing her to a object? Personally I don't think so. I can look at her character as a person with a personality, feelings and flaws and also admire her attractiveness. I found some shots of her quite attractive, but I also found her story compelling. Why are these mutually exclusive? They're clearly not amongst real people, so why should they be for characters?
Another weird thing: I don't think I've ever heard a man complaining about feeling objectified. Why is that? My Mom gets pictures of shirtless guys on her birthday cards all the time. Twilight (say what you will about it's literary quality) is pretty much purple prose about how attractive a vampire guy is. And yet, I haven't heard any guy say that they feel objectified because of it. Why is that? When women often find portrayals of women objectifying?
That said, seeing people as mere objects of sexual pleasure is bad. I don't have a problem with people having sex for pleasure, nor do I subscribe to the idea that there is only one, or two, or whatever ways to have sex. If people want to have one night stands for pleasure, as long as they respect themselves and their partner, that's fine. Respect means seeing them as a person, and treating them that way. And I think that finding someone sexually attractive does not violate that tenant.
Next on Male Gaze: the idea of male gaze is that women in fiction are often presented as they are seen by men. Meaning focus on parts that would be looked at by men--breasts, butt, legs. The problem is this: I'm a bisexual woman. I like looking at attractive women too.
I think "Female Gaze" is growing in our media (see: Twilight, as mentioned above), but yes, examples of it are rarer than examples of Male Gaze. I think equal opportunity fanservice is probably a good idea. But I don't think it's (a) possible, or (b) right to try and get rid of all sexualized or attractive imagery in our media. Should we be bombarded with it everywhere? No. But is it okay, even wanted, sometimes? Yes.
Now, I have a lot more to say about sex, but I think I'll finish up this blog and post another one on some more topics.
Edit: Reading some stuff, I worry that I might have not said some things I mean to say: While it is alright to find people attractive, it is not alright to disrespect them because of it. Most people aren't comfortable with catcalls, etc. There is a fine line between flirting and sexual harassment. I think I'll talk about this next.
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